ha ha ha
Three weeks, and we're still no close to cracking this.
Right! Bring him in!
Yes, sir.
This is the best party ever!
Oh, no!
A dragon is approaching!
Ahhh!! (chuckles)
Fear not, for here come the valiant knights to save us!
What do you mean she's not coming?
I have a backyard full of these little girls who
are counting on the visit from the Fairy Princess!
Listen! I do not want a refund! I want the Fairy Princess! Please, please, I'm begging you!
You know what? I hope you can sleep at night, you crusher of little girls' dreams!
Oh, oh, when's the Fairy Princess coming?
Any minute now!
Yayy!
Stall them!
www.subtitrari.pro
Whoa, whoa, okay, okay...
Alright, that's enough of the magic show!
Minions: Aww!
Wait, did you hear that?
It sounded like the twinkling sounds of magical fairy dust.
It's the Fairy Princess,
She's coming!
Look!
It is I, GruTinkerbell!
The most magical Fairy Princess of all!
I am here to wish Princess Agnes,
A very happy birthday!
How come you're so fat?
Because...
My house is made of candy!
And sometimes, I eat instead of facing my problems!
How come you ha---
Okay, time for cake!
Kids: Yay!
Thank you, GruTinkerbell!
You're the best Fairy Princess ever!
You are welcome, little girl!
I know it's really you, Gru.
I'm just pretending for the other kids.
Hey there, Gru, Mister Life of the party!
Hello, Jillian!
So, I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but my friend Natalie,
is recently single, and...
No, no, no! Get off the limb, right now!
No limb.
(Laughs) Come on! She's a riot!
She sings karaoke, she has a lot of free time,
looks aren't that important to her!
Look, Jill, it's not happening.
Seriously, I'm fine.
Okay, fine, forget Natalie. How about my cousin Linda?
No.
Oh, I know someone whose husband just died...
I'm sorry, I did not see you there.
Or there.
Kyle, Kyle,
Kyle, stop! Stop doing your business on the Petunias!
There you go, go to Fred's. Go crazy.
Good boy.
Mr. Gru?
Wha, I didn't, wha.. Yes?
Hi! Agent Lucy Wilde of the AVL.
Oh... oops!
Sorry.
You're gonna have to come with me.
Oh, sorry, I'm--- Freeze Ray!
You know you really should announce your weapons after you fire them, Mr. Gru.
For example...
Lipstick taser!
Oh, it works so good.
Ouch... Where is it...
Oh.. Sorry.
ughh.. arghhh..
Get, in, there, you, big....
Whoa, curses...
Cannot feel...
Good afternoon, Mr. Gru.
Yeah...
I apologize for our methods in getting you here.
I don't!
I'd do it again in a heartbeat! I am not gonna lie,
I enjoyed that. Every second of it, Gave me bit of a buzz, actually...
That's enough, Agent Wilde.
Sorry.
Okay, this is bogus!
I don't know who you think you people are, but...
We are the Anti-Villain League.
An ultra secret organization dedicated to fighting crime on a global scale.
Rob a bank, we're not interested. Kill someone, not our deal.
But you were to melt the polar ice caps, or vaporize Mount Fuji,
or even,
Steal the moon...
Then, we notice.
First of all, you got no proof that I did that.
Second, after I did do that, I put it back.
We're well aware of that, Mr. Gru. That's why we brought you here.
I am the league director, Silas Ramsbottom.
Heehee... Bottom. (laughs)
Hilarious.
Agent Wilde...
Oh, me now?
Recently, an entire top secret lab disappeared from the Arctic Circle.
Yeah. The entire lab, just...
Gone. Where did it go?
I don't care.
Hmm...
The lab was devoted to experiments involving PX-41.
A transmutation serum.
What is PX-41, you ask?
Hmmm... it's pretty bad.
Look.
You usually don't see that in bunnies.
As you could see,
In the wrong hands, the PX-41 serum,
could be the most devastating weapon on Earth.
Fortunately,
it has a very distinct chemical footprint.
And, using the latest chem tracking technology,
we found traces of it in the Paradise Mall.
Huh.. A Mall.
Precisely.
And we believe that one of these shop owners is a master criminal.
And that's where you come in. As an ex-villain, you know how a villain thinks, and acts.
The plan is, to set you up undercover at a shop in the mall,
where hopefully, you'll be able to...
Okay! I see where this is going!
With all the mission: impossible stuff,
But no, no.
I'm a father now. And, a legitimate businessman.
I am developing a line of delicious jams and jellies.
(laughs mockingly)
"Jams and jellies".
Oh, attitude!
That's right!
So thanks, but no thanks.
And here's a tip: instead of tasing people,
and kidnapping them,
maybe you should just give them a call!
Good day, Mr. Sheepbutt!
Ramsbottom.
Oh, yeah, like I said it better!
(Minions laugh)
Look, I probably shouldn't be saying this, but...
Your work as a villain, was kind of, amazing.
So if you ever wanna get back to doing something awesome...
Give us a call.
Hey, I told you guys to get to bed!
Oh, sorry.
So, when are you going on your date?
What?
Remember? Ms. Jillian said she was arranging a date for you.
Yeah, well, she is a nutjob and I'm not going on any date.
Why not?
Are you scared?
Hey, did you guys see the moon landing on TV?
Can you believe it? It's so cool!
- Yeah, and you know what? - Excuse me...
Lisa?
Hmmm.. Hey, Lisa,
I was wondering,
Gru touched Lisa!
Lisa's got Gruties!
(kids panicking)
Scared? Of what?
Women? No!
That's bonkers!
I just, I've no interest in going on a date, that's all!
Case closed!
I'm not scared!
Of women.
Or dates.
Let's go to bed.
Goodnight, Edith.
Goodnight, Margo.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Whoa, hold the horses,
who are you texting?
No one! Just my friend Avery.
Avery... Eh? Avery?
Is that a girl's name or a boy's name?
Does it matter?
No! No, it doesn't matter,
unless it's a boy!
I know what makes you a boy.
Uhh, you do?
Your bald head.
Ohh. Yes.
It's really smooth.
Sometimes I stare at it,
and imagine a little chick popping out.
Peep-peep- peep!
Goodnight, Agnes.
Never get older.
Hey, yo!
Hey, Tim, nice haircut!
Tommy, hang in there, baby!
It's almost Friday!
So, how's today's batch, Dr. Nefario?
I developed a new formula which allowed me to get every known kind of berry in a one flavor of jelly.
Arghhh ... Ugh....
That is good!
Love the flavor of...
It's horrible, isn't it?
No, no!
Oh, we're making great progress!
Here, try some.
Whoa... Okay,
Just because everybody hates it,
doesn't mean it's not good!
Listen, Gru...
There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about for some time now.
What, what's wrong?
I miss being evil.
Sinister plots, large-scale crimes,
It's what I live for!
I mean, don't you think there's more for our future than... jelly?
Well, I'm also considering a line of jams.
Umm... The thing is, Gru...
I've now been recruited elsewhere.
Dr. Nefario!
Oh, come on.
You're kidding, right?
This is a great opportunity for me...
More evil...
Ah...
Very well...
Let us give you, the proper send-off.
Minions!
The highest honor awarded,
to Dr. Nefario,
for your years of service,
the 21 Fart Gun Salute!
(cough)
Uhh, I counted twenty-two.
Farewell, my friends.
This may take a while.
Go about your business!
I miss you already!
Ehh? Oh, Hello!
Are you sure we can be doing this?
Yes, it's for his own good.
Okay, we need to choose a picture.
No.
Scary.
Weird.
Ahh!!
What is that?
Good morning, girls, I have an announcement to make!
Hey, what celebrity do you look like?
Yuhh...
Bruce Willis.
Hmmm. No.
Humpty Dumpty!
Oooh, that one!
Ha .. ha...
Okay, what are you doing?
We're setting you off for online dating!
Oh. Okay, what!?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, come on.
It's fun.
And it's time for you to get out there.
No, stop. No one is ever getting out there!
Ever!
Okay...
Now, for the announcement.
I have accepted a new job!
Wow, really?
Yes, I have been recruited,
by a top secret agency
to go undercover and save the world.
You're gonna be a spy?
That's right, baby!
Gru's back in the game!
Gadgets, and weapons and cool cars!
Awesome!
Are you really gonna save the world?
Yes. Yes, I am.
Hmm ..
"Bake My Day".
Bleh..
Alright, here is the cupcake recipe I got on the internet.
And don't go nuts with the sprinkles!
Ahh!
Hiyatt .. hah
huh ..huh... huh...
Hiya ..hiya...hiyaa Hiya ..hiya...hiyaa
Whooh!
Wasn't expecting that!
Or was I?
Oh, you, you got, you got....
Umm..Umm... A little...
Here, I'll get it.
Uhmm, it's spreading.
Alright, alright. I got this.
I'll let you get it.
What you just saw there was a little something new I've been working on. It's a combination of
Jujitsu, Krav maga,
Aztec warfare, and Krumping.
Okay, that's weird.
Why are you here?
On assignment from Silas.
I'm your new partner!
Yay!www.subtitrari.pro
What? No!
No , "Yay!".
Ramsbottom didn't say anything about a partner.
Well, seems that because of your checkered past, everyone else refused to work with you.
But not me!
I stepped up!
And I'm new. So I'm gonna have to do what they tell me anyway.
Voila!
You know this guy?
Yes, he's one of my minions.
Ohh... I'm sorry.
I should have known.
You are free to go!
Earth to Dave!
You can leave now.
So, what do we got?
Who's on the list ?
Fire Romantic
First suspect,
The head of Bloom and Top, proprietor of the floral shop.
No, not her.
Okay.
Moving on...
Chad Kenny, owner of "Stuff-a-Bear".
I don't think so.
Hello?
Buenos Dias, my friends!
I am,
Eduardo Perez.
Owner of "Salsa Y Salsa" restaurant,
across the mall.
Now open for breakfast.
And you are?
Gru! And this is Lucy,
and we are closed.
This is just gonna take un momento.
I am throwing a big Cinco De Mayo party.
And I am going to need 200 of your best cupcakes.
Decorated with,
the Mexican Flag.
It looks something like this.
What do you think?
Ughh...
Anyway, I have to go. It's all settled. I'll pick them up next week.
Have a good day!
Come by if you get a chance, okay?
Ahh...
And welcome, to the Mall family.
(Gru exclaims in disbelief)
El Macho!
What?
This couldn't be!
Wha-- what couldn't be?
That guy, looks exactly like the villain named,
"El Macho".
From about 20 years ago...
He was ruthless...
He was dangerous...
And as the name implies...
Very macho!
He had a reputation
Of pulling a heist, using only his bare hands!
Ah, but sadly, like all the greats,
El Macho was gone, too soon...
He died in the most macho way possible.
A shark,
with 250,000 dynamites strapped to his chest,
into the mouth, of an active volcano!
It was glorious!
Yeah, sounds like El Macho's pretty dead?
They never found the body.
Oh, no.
All that was ever retrieved,
was a pile,
of singed chest hair.
That face!
It has got to be El Macho.
So what do you say, you and I break into his restaurant.
Tonight.
Yes, that's good.
Because I'm telling you, if anybody in this place has the PX-41 serum,
it's him!
Alright, alright, homework done, pyjamas on, teeth brushed, time for bed.
What's the big hurry?
I just, I have a lot of work to do.
Work?
What kind of work?
Very important business.
So hugs, kisses.
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs...
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...
Wha...?
But you said you'd help me practice my part for the mother's day show.
ahhh...
Fine, fine.
Let me hear it, quickly.
"She kisses my boo-boos.
She braids my hair.
My mother is beyond compare.
We love you, mothers everywhere".
Wow, that was, something else!
I really like the way you smiled at the end.
Let's try this one more time but a tinsy-bit less like a zombie.
Okay?
Okay.
"She kisses my boo-boos.
She braids my hair..."
Perfect! Time to go.
I don't think I should do this.
Wha.... what do you mean?
Why not?
I don't even have a mom.
Well, you don't need one
to do the show.
I mean,
you did the parents' day pageant.
You haven't been in combat.
This is different.
Okay, well, then, maybe you can just use your imagination.
You mean, I pretend I have a mom?
Yes.
Right? You can do that, can't you?
Yeah! I do that all the time.
Thanks, Gru!
Okay,
No, hey...
Please...
Kevin, Jerry, watch the girls for me, okay?
Dave, Stewart, come this way, with me. Come on!
Come on!
Yeah, yeah!
We're stealth ninjas.
We make no sound.
Right.
Hiyah!!
Alright, El Macho, you're going down.
Wait! Wait.
What?
What are you doing?
Checking for laser beam alarm triggers.
It's a restaurant!
You never know what kind of booby traps this guy could've set.
Huh? Come on.
There are no booby traps.
Hah! Booby!
ugh ...
Huh... it's a chicken.
Are you lost, little guy?
You must be lost.
Hah! Some guard dog!
No, no, no!
Get it off of me!
uh..uhh
uh...ah...
I got you!
ohhh..oh
ahhhh...ahh.......
I got it!
ah...
Oh..
What is wrong with that chicken?
Hey, that Pollo is Loco.
(chuckles)
No?
Okay, let's go.
You getting anything?
No.
Not yet.
But hey, maybe you can find something with these X-ray goggles!
Aww.
How is it working, tell me, tell me!
Ahh!
Ooh!
What's wrong?
Something wrong?
That is an image I'll never get out of my brain!
Blechh!
I knew it!
The serum's in here!
Ooh, then let's get it!
This is going to be good!
ah...
A-ha!
What?
Secret Salsa Recipe
This is, Salsa?
Aww, man...
Somebody is going to die tonight.
Oh.. Paulito!
Paulito,
Paulito, can you hear me?
Who would do this to such a sweet little chicken?
Who's there?
- (gasps) - Uh-oh!
You coming out, or am I gonna go in?
Stop!
My eyes!
Gru, call in your munchkins!
Get it started, come get us!
Oooh. So long.
Over here!
Over here.
Over...
Here.
Hold tight!
(frustrated yell)
I have you now!
Yay! Ice cream!
Gru! There he is.
Suspect number 8.
Floyd Eagle-san.
Well, Okay.
See if you can get closer.
Go.
Go!
Alright.
What the...
Oh, no...
That's not good!
Hey, wait!
Hi, Gru!
Oh, girls!
What are you doing here?
Well, we thought we'd come visit you at work!
So, you're saving the world in a garbage can?
(laughs)
Funny.
Hey! There you are!
Oh, who's this?
Lucy, these are my girls.
Margo, Edith and Agnes.
Girls, Lucy.
Lucy, Girls.
Hello.
Hi.
Are you single?
Oh.. Goodness.
Oh, hey! I have an idea,
Since Lucy and I have lots of work to do,
Why don't you girls go and explore the mall?
Here is some money, go buy some useless mall junk.
Some headbands...
Are you gonna marry Lucy?
Are you out of your gorf?
No! She just works with me.
Plus you love her.
You love her!
You really, really love her!
Okay, stop.
These are sordid lies. I don't even like her.
Now go have fun.
(girls laugh)
Almost forgot!
Good luck saving the world! Bye!
Bye, Gru!
Kids, right?
They're, funny.
Those girls totally adore you.
I think you're a fun dad.
Huh. I'm pretty fun.
That's stealing.
Not if my wish was to ever get a hundred free coins.
? This rainy day is temporary ?
? The contrast is why we got him ?
? Cause sunshine due is just a cloud ? ? away way way way way way ?
? Way way way way way way ? ? (hey baby! ) ?
? So what you blown a fuse ? ? (you blown a fuse) ?
? Well that happens to us all ? ? (that happens to us all) ?
? When I come with great news ? ? (I come with great news) ?
? The day could change ? ? (change) change (change) change (change) change (change) ?
Cool glasses.
Thanks.
I'm Antonio.
I'm Margo.
I was just going to get a cookie.
Care to join me?
Uhh... sure...
I'm, Margo.
Uh-Ahemm!
Umm... I'll catch up with you guys later.
Bye!
Can I be the first to say, "Eww"!
We got to go tell Gru!
Alright, I'm going in.
If it picks up any traces of the serum, the center of your belt buckle
will make a sound like this. (imitates siren)
Okay. I get it. I get it.
Welcome,
to "Eagle Hair Club".
It's about time you showed up.
Mr. Gru.
You know my name?
When someone moves into the mall who is follically challenged,
I make it my business to know all about them.
You're bald.
I know you don't want to say it.
I'm getting nothing so far.
I think you need to look around.
Wow, this looks interesting.
What is it?
I take it you're an art lover?
No serum.
Yeah, not so much.
Oh, how about this impressive trinket?
- I hardly call it trinket, Mr. Gru. International... - No, thank you.
Yeah, I don't care.
(belt signal alarming)
Hold on, I'm picking up something.
Behind that wall!
Ahh... What do we have here?
These are my trial wigs.
You should take one.
No, thanks.
So what's on the other side
of the wall?
You are! Look at me! Focus!
Gru ?
I promise, that this wig will transform you,
from ugly, to irresistible.
Margo has a boyfriend!
And they're going on a date!
Date?! Boyfriend?! What?!
There she goes!
Oh, you're so funny.
Gross!
Look, they're in love!
Oh, no, no. Do not say that they're--- no, no, no!
And my dream, is to one day, play video games for a living.
Wow!
You're so complicated.
Margo.
What is going on here?
Oh, Gru.
Sellama, Antonio.
Mellamo, Margo.
Mellamo Lama Ding Dong.
Who cares.
Let's go.
Get it free on Tuesdays.
Papa!
So good to see you again, mi compadre!
Oh.. I see you have already met my father.
What the... father?
Si! Look at this crazy small world we live in, eh?
Come, sit! Let me get you something.
Oh, look at you!
Ha ha!
He likes me!
Oh... I'm sorry. Paulito is usually,
very friendly.
He had a rough night.
ha ha ha...
Well, we really should be going.
Girls, come on.
That is a pity.
Young love, is beautiful, no?
No!
They are not in love. They hardly know each other.
You are right, cabeza del nuevo.
They must get to know each other better.
Antonio,
Why don't you invite your girlfriend? And her family.
To our Cinco De Mayo party.
No, no...
Both: Si!
I'm sorry, El Macho?
Haven't we eliminated him as a suspect after the whole "salsa" incident?
Yes, but there has been a new
development, and I'm telling you, this is the guy.
You need to arrest him immediately.
And!
His deviously charming son.
I'm pretty sure that the son is involved too.
The son, also!
You got to get the son!
I think that the son is the mastermind.
There's a look, there's a devilish look in his eyes, and I don't like it!
Yes, but I don't believe seeing any evidence...
Evidence, schmevidence, I go with my gut, and my gut tells me,
that this guy is El Macho.
Lock him up,
lock up the son,
don't forget about the son!
The kid, gives me the creeps!
Oh, dear, oh dear, oh dear...
But, on the less crazy side of things,
Gru discovered traces of the serum at Eagle Hair Club!
Hmm. Interesting.
Yeah! And you know who made that happen?
Huh?
This guy. Nailed it.
Amazing, right?
No, I mean...
Sure, but it's not him!
It is El Macho...
Mr. Gru,
Please...
No, it is him and I will prove it.
Gru, come on.
He really thinks it's El Macho.
Can you tell him?
? In the summer time when the weather is high ?
? You can stretch right up and touch the sky ?
? We go fishin' or go swimmin' in the sea ?
? We're always happy ?
? Life's for livin' yeah, that's our philosophy ?
? Sing along with us ?
? Dee dee dee-dee dee ?
? Dah dah dah-dah dah ?
? Yeah we're hap-happy ?
? Dah dah-dah ?
? Dee-dah-do dee-dah-do dah-do-dah ?
? Dah-do-dah-dah-dah ?
Give me that!
huuu...
Kevin,
the wi-fi's out!
Kevin?
Hey, Lex,
Where the heck is Kevin?
Alright, we need to revisit the number of vacation days you guys get.
I can't find anybody anymore!
Gru, it's Jillian!
I've got good news!
I have my friend Shannon here with me.
I was thinking you two could get some grub.
You know, tear it up,
see what happens.
(laughs)
Open up!
Agnes! Agnes,
tell Jillian, I'm not here.
Gru's not here!
Are you sure?
Yes, he just told me!
I mean no, he didn't just tell me.
(laughs again)
Agnes, where is Gru?
He's, putting on lipstick.
He's, swatting a fly.
He's, chopping a head off!
He's... pooping?
I know you're in there, Gru.
There's no way you're getting out of this.
I have to tell you I was so nervous about tonight.
I mean there's just so many phonies out there.
Yes, I hear you.
Ha..ha..ha..
So, do you work out?
Well...
I mean, obviously you don't.
But would you consider it?
Huh?
Physical fitness is very important to Shannon.
As you can tell, right?
Ah, I can tell.
Call it!
We are in a restaurant,
you know?
Hi, take out for Lucy.
Sure, just a sec.
Ah..well, thank you very much.
I was...
I know someone who can fix that for you.
And you'll be talking normal in no time!
(laughs)
Whew... Is it hot in here?
How's the food?
Wait a minute, wait a minute...
Are you wearing a wig?
What?
Ah, I don't think so.
I knew it.
You're a phony.
I hate phonies.
Oh... what? No, these locks are all mine!
No, they're not!
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna rip that thing off your head
and show everyone what
a bald-headed phony you are.
I don't think so, Miss Lady.
(yelps)
Hello?
Hello...
Are you...
Hey, Gru.
Hello!
Lucy.
How are you doing?
Wow, looks like your date's out for the count.
It's like she's been shot with a mild tranquilizer.
Noooo...
Yeah, I'm winking 'cause that's what actually happened.
Excusi, what's happening here?
She no like?
Oh, she's just, uhh...
Oh.. Oh-ho-ho.. Si! Si.
Shall we take her home?
Yeah, I think you did it.
You just officially had the worst date ever.
Ohh. Tell me about it.
Don't worry.
It can never get better from here, right?
But if it doesn't, you can always borrow my dart gun.
I do use it on, one or two dates myself.
Yeah, you know as far as dates go,
I think I'm good with just, one.
Well...
Good night, partner.
This was fun.
Yes, surprisingly, it was.
Oh, and, uhh...
Just between you and me,
You look much better bald.
See you tomorrow!
? It might seem crazy what I知 about to say ?
? Sunshine she痴 here, you can take away ?
? I知 a hot air balloon that could go to space ?
So, I take it the date went well?
No, it was horrible.
? Like I don稚 care baby by the way ?
? Because I知 happy ?
? Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ?
? Because I知 happy Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ?
? Because I知 happy Clap along if you know what happiness is to you ?
? Because I知 happy Clap along if you feel like that痴 what you wanna do ?
? Bring me down Bring your Mocking Bring me Down ?
? Because I知 happy Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ?
? Because I知 happy Clap along if you know what's best what you wanna do ?
Mr. Ramsbottom?
Oh, hello.
What are you doing here?
We got him.
Got who?
Floyd Eagle-san.
Our agents located a secret room in his shop last night,
and, uh,
discovered this.
It's empty but we found traces of the PX-41 serum in it.
He is our man.
So, somehow, in spite of your incompetence, we solved this one.
I was framed!
You won't get away with this!
Get your mitts off of me!
AH..
Alright, so...
What now?
Well, now, you're free to go back to your business.
Hmmm! Jams and jellies.
And it looks like Agent Wilde will be transferring to our Australian branch.
Australia?
Yes.
But thank you, for everything.
And by everything, of course I mean, nothing.
Toodles and cheerio, Mr. Gru.
Hey there.
Hey.
So, we got him.
Yay!
That's great.
And now you're going to Australia?
Well, it's not definite yet.
I'm still figuring it out.
Already been working on my accent.
So, umm...
Pretty excited.
Great.
Well, good luck.
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You, too.
Oh, here. I wanted to give you this.
Your lipstick taser?
Yeah, it's just a memento.
Just.. you know.
From, the first time we met.
Oh. Thank you, Lucy.
Agent Wilde?
Well, it looks like they need you.
So...
Yeah...
I better go.
Bye, Gru.
I brought you an umbrella.
Ah, thank you.
What are you doing out here?
Remember when you said that I liked Lucy?
Well, it turns out...
You are right.
Really?
Yes, but...
Well, she's moving away.
I'm never going to see her again.
Is there anything I can do to help?
I don't...
I don't think so, sweetheart.
Well is there anything you could do?
Hello, Lucy. This is Gru.
I know...
Up to this point, our relationship has been strictly professional.
And you're leaving for Australia and all...
But...
Okay, here is the question.
Would you like to...
To go out on a date...
Ayyy... No.
Okay, that's not helping.
Alright. Here we go.
For real this time.
I can do this.
I hate you.
Be... Dow Be... Dow Be... Dow Be... Dow
Be......
This place is awesome!
Okay, let's party!
But, first, let us go over the rules!
Because, what is fun without the rules.
Agnes, easy on the chocolate.
Edith, try to not kill anyone.
Margo,
Hello, Mr. Gru.
Argh.. okay.
Gru!
There must be a standard 6 feet of space,
between you and boys.
Especially this boy.
Ah, you are a funny man.
There are no rules, se�or.
It's Cinco De Mayo!
Come on! Let's party and relax!
So glad you could make it, mi compadre!
Hey, what's wrong?
Oh, nothing. Nothing's wrong.
I'm just chilling.
With the guac,
from my chip hat.
Gru, please.
I know that look
all too well. It is the look of a broken heart.
How did you know?
Believe me, my friend.
I, too, have spent many nights
trying to drown my sorrows,
in Guacamole.
You?
Yes.
But,
we are survivors.
There is much more to us,
than meets the eye.
Enjoy the party.
What?
Would you like some peanuts or pretzels?
Ha..ha..ha...
That's a good joke.
I just did a boom-boom.
I really need you to make a choice now.
I choose Gru.
I choose Gru!
Thank you, Gru stewardess!
You're welcome!
You have not lost your touch, my friend.
Ah-ha!
I knew it!
You are El Macho.
That's right!
Nobody believed me!
But I knew you weren't dead.
Of course not.
I merely faked my death.
But now...
It's time for me,
to make a spectacular return
to evil.
Doctor!
I think it's time,
to show Gru,
what we're up to here?
Dr. Nefario?
Nice to see you, Gru!
Whaaa.... So this is your new job opportunity?
Absolutely.
You're gonna like this.
Sorry. I had to borrow some of your minions,
but it was for a worthy cause.
Oooh.. Kevin!
No, he is not Kevin anymore!
Now...
He is an indestructible,
mindless,
killing machine!
Just watch this.
And here's the best part:
I got an army of them!
Soon,
I will unleash them,
on the world!
And if anyone,
anyone tries to stop them...
The city gets eaten!
We can do it together!
Together?
Together!
I have admired your work for years, amigo.
Stealing the moon?
Are you kidding?
We would be unstoppable.
Men like you,
men like me...
We, should be ruling the world!
So, are you in?
Woo-hoo!
Oh, yeah! Probably.
Probably?
I mean, yes! Yes, Of course, yes.
I just, have a lot going on right now.
I just need to get some things off my plate,
before we start taking over the world, that's all.
Excuse me?
No, no, forget it. 100%, I am in.
I think, what is that? Do you hear that?
I do. That's Agnes calling me, from undis---
Totally in!
You know what? I am not so convinced that he is in.
Edith, Agnes, come on!
Oops, sorry!
You need to go home now!
Where is Margo?
Margo!
Come on! We're...
Hey, what's wrong?
I hate boys.
Yes, they stink.
Now, sorry, honey, you got to go.
Oops...
Sorry.
Hey, Paulito.
What's the matter?
Oh, hey, Eduardo.
Lucia.
I apologize. Paulito, is usually not like this.
The same thing happened the other day with...
With Gru...
Oh...
Speaking of Gru,
have you seen him?
I really need to talk to him.
Yes, I think he's somewhere around here.
You two are close, no?
Oh... I don't know.
I mean, close, I wouldn't say we're, "close".
Why, did he say we're close?
Did he say that?
It's not what he did say.
For instance,
he never mentioned...
That you were both working for the Anti-Villain League!
You're coming with me.
Funky.
So Eduardo's actually El Macho?
Cool!
No, it is not cool!
Once I pretty much knew it was him all along,
so if anyone's cool, it's me.
Gru!
Well, Dr. Nefario.
El Macho's onto you.
He knows you're working for the AVL.
And, he's got your partner.
Lucy?
Well, that's, impossible.
She's on her way to Australia.
Nefario!
Sorry, got to go.
He's got Lucy?
Not for long.
Come on.
We're getting her out of there.
(maniacal laugh)
I don't see anything.
My unicorn!
Agnes, run!
Come on! Hurry!
Move!
What's the matter?
Kevin!
Dr. Nefario! You're back!
In the flesh!
Behold...
The Antidote.
Come on.
It's time we put this horrible jelly to some good use.
Curses!
Foiled again!
These guys captured me!
Hello, Gru!
Hey! Nice work, Dr. Nefario!
All antidote in the jelly can.
I mean, I'm happy to create an evil army to destroy the world...
But nobody messes with my family.
Thank you, Doctor.
Now let's go get the...
Hi!
You brought the girls?
Yes.
Oh. Is that wrong?
You guys, take care of the rest of the minions. I'm going to find Lucy.
Eat jelly, you furry freaks!
It's over, El Macho.
Now where is Lucy?
Let me show you.
Oh. Hey, Gru!
Turns out you were right about the Polo Macho thing, huh?
(mild yay)
One push of this button,
and I send that rocket,
straight into the same volcano where I faked my death.
Only this time...
It's for real.
No!
We coulda ruled the world together, Gru.
But now...
You're gonna die.
Lipstick taser!
Aww. He copied me.
I am not afraid,
of your jelly guns.
Oh, this ain't a jelly gun, Sunshine.
Don't worry about me, Gru, I'll be fine!
I have survived locks worse than this.
Okay, that's not entirely true.
Actually I'm kinda freaking out up here!
Don't worry. I will get you out of this.
Hah ! Hah !
I really hate that chicken.
ALL: Yoohoo!
Is that a red one? It's definitely the red one!
Gru!
Any time now!
Lucy, we may not get out of this alive.
So, I need to ask you a question.
Uhh... Better make it quick!
If I asked you out on a date,
What would you have said?
Are you kidding me?
Yes!
Jump!
Lucy?
Lucy, where are you?
Ah... Lucy!
Gru!!
Sorry.
Guess you, kinda need your arms to tread water, huh?
They'll be back.
147 dates later...
Oh..!
Can I be the first to say,
Eww!
Okay.
Excuse me!
Hi, excuse me.
(clears throat)
Hi, everybody.
I'd like to make some toast....
Okay.
She... umm...
She kisses my boo-boos
She braids my hair
We Love You Mothers Everywhere
And my new Mom Lucy is beyond compare
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